Everything always happens at once. We have our new apartment beginning Tuesday, and it seems laughable that we will ever be ready to move, let alone in three days. Ha! I'm so used to being an organized and motivated person - another life now - that I can't quite figure out how I've found myself sitting in the middle of half empty boxes poorly packed.

The doctors say that there's nothing else that can be done for Ashley's father. I don't know why this has come as such a shock - we've had 7 months of steady decline to prepare us - but that's just what it is....a complete and utter shock. I hope he's here when the baby comes - he loves babies. It's all so sad I can barely believe it.

In the middle of all this, we have to keep reminding ourselves that there's a little bundle of joy on the way. I never would have imagined that my first trimester (something that I've dreamed about my whole life) would be so...sad. It's hard to explain, and there are certainly moments when I can peer into the not too distant future and get a total thrill over what's to come. But right now? It all seems impossibly far off.