The Gauge

Thursday, May 17, 2007



There's my little cutie basking in the sun.

This week has been a mixed bag. Midge seems to be gradually getting better at sleeping at night - two steps forward, one step back, that kind of thing. And that's great! Want to know what's not so great? Mastitis! Holy Crap! That's all kinds of bad news. I couldn't get out of bed, couldn't see straight (my temp. spiked to 103) and had to nurse and BE A PARENT through the whole thing! Crimeny.

I don't think it would have been so bad, but I keep thinking I'm going to feel better and then I get knocked down by something else. I was in such bad shape when we left the hospital, in such constant, scary pain, that I think I'm just feeling worn down by the things that have happened since. I'm frustrated that it takes me so long to get out of bed, that I still can't sit in a chair for more than 30 minutes, that if I do too much I land back in bed for two days. I so want to feel good now. I want Midge to have a mother who doesn't moan so frigging much. I want Ashley to have a wife who doesn't cry in the shower every morning! Don't get me wrong! I know that I'll get all better, and I'm amazed, given my whole disposition, that I seem to have escaped any real depression or anything like that. Mentally I feel good, other than being beaten down by pain/discomfort. And the most important thing? Elinor is in perfect health, and also has the cutest corn kernels disguised as toes that I've ever seen in my life.

Can I try and make myself clear again? I LOVE having my little darling girl, and it's shaping up to be the best thing ever, but it's so hard not to get discouraged by how I feel physically. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining - I save all my complaining for my long-suffering husband, you see.

And really? How can you not be happy when you have this in your back seat?

1 Comments:

  • At 5/17/2007 08:10:00 PM, Blogger Tricia said…

    Oh honey...I totally understand...and I bet all moms do! With mastitis to boot...you are a tough cookie! And you are right...one day, all of a sudden, you will feel a lot better. I promise.

    xo

     

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